The chances are that if it's happening to you, you do NOT deserve it - no matter what you are being told, and you do NOT have to put up with it. - It may be hard to admit that what's happening to you is really 'domestic abuse' - but once you do, you have gained the power to be able to put an end to it. And domestic abuse has so much to do with power.
In this programme we heard from a young man who put up with his wife's abuse for over ten years before his friends finally helped him to move out of the situation and from a woman who finally went to a women's refuge, but felt she didn't really have the right to a place there in spite of the treatment she was receiving.
Abusers will go down on their knees and beg for forgiveness and promise solemnly never to do it again... and next day, perhaps a few beers further down the line, the story will repeat itself.
BUT there are many many organisations there who can help you and these are listed below, but first a few facts and figures:
- In Gateshead alone, the cost of domestic abuse is £91 per year
- Nationally the cost is £1.2 BILLION! (imagine if that was invested in education...)
- One in 4 women encounters domestic or sexual abuse at some point in their lives
- In any one year, there are 13 million separate incidents of physical violence or threats of violence against women from partners or former partners.
- 45% women and 26% men experience at least one incident of inter-personal violence in their lifetimes. (Walby and Allen, 2004) ) – however when there were more than 4 incidents (i.e. ongoing domestic or
sexual abuse) 89% of victims were women - 54% of UK rapes are committed by a woman’s current or former partner.
- On average 2 women a week are killed by a male partner or former partner: this constitutes around one-third of all female homicide victims.
0808 2000 247 freephone national 24 hour domestic violence helpline
http://www.mesmacnortheast.com/ for gay and bisexual men
http://www.broken-rainbow.org.uk/ help for LGBT men and women suffering abuse
telephone: 0300 999 5428 (LGBT) Mon 2-8pm, Wed. 10-5pm, thur 2-8pm - Immediate danger call 999
http://www.nedap.org.uk/ Victim Support North East Domestic Abuse Project
0845 30 30 900. Typetalk users should dial 18001 0845 30 30 900. To hide your number, press 141 before dialing the number.
http://refuge.org.uk/ For women and children suffering domestic abuse
0808 2000 247
Gateshead Women's Service
For women in the Gateshead area needing a refuge from domestic abuse
Panah Women's Service
PO Box 27
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE3 1EU
Tel: 0191 284 6998
Tel (Outreach): 07590 851908
Fax: 0191 285 6075
Panah is a black women's refuge providing safe and secure temporary accommodation for women and their dependant children, fleeing from or threatened with domestic violence.
PODCAST
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25 November International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
26 November
Reclaim the Night
http://www.reclaimthenight.org/
There will be a march in Newcastle, gathering at 18.30 (6.30pm) at Haymarket.
Speakers: Chi Onwurah, MP for Newcastle Central and Clare Williams, Chair of the TUC Women’s Group and Unison Regional Convenor
In Britain there are an estimated 47,000 rapes every year. Each year an estimated 300,000 women are sexually assaulted (British Crime Survey 2001), yet Britain’s conviction rate is the lowest ever at just 5.3%. When Reclaim the Night marches were first started in the 1970s, women were appalled that only 1 in 3 rapists were ever convicted; today that figure is 1 in 20. This is why the Northern TUC have revived the tradition of Reclaim the Night. All women have the right to use public spaces both in the daytime and after dark without the fear of sexual harassment and assault. Join with women around the world to mark the United Nations International Day to End Violence Against Women and take back your night.
and while we're on the subject of rape, please check out the Justice for Jane campaign to get a bill through Parliament to stop allowing rapists to be granted bail after murdering the sole witness.
